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How to Release Guilt and Overcome Self-Sabotage

How to Release Guilt and Overcome Self-Sabotage

I know it has been a hot minute since I last wrote a soul hack post.

You see..

While I certainly don’t mind being vulnerable, I prefer not to share my personal struggles with the world until I feel I have worked thru them enough to offer others a pearl of wisdom from said struggle.

Otherwise, I would basically just be b*tching and spewing my personal drama onto the world (adding to the collective negativity) when my true goal in life is to give others hope.

Now that I finally feel I have worked thru my sh*t, I wanted to share my most recent revelations with you today.

erica van slyke

So within the past twelve months, I have achieved some serious goals…

Earning six figures doing what I love, losing over 20lbs of excess weight, and, just this month, getting paid by Better Homes and Gardens to have one of my designs featured in their July issue are just some of the far-fetched dreams that have manifested into reality for me.

And while one would assume that I would be on cloud nine with all of my recent accomplishments, it has actually been the opposite.

Truth be told… I have actually been riddled with guilt.

Observing all the pain and suffering around me, I found myself questioning my worthiness and deservingness.

“Who am I to be happy when so many are suffering?”

The classic, self-sabotaging introspection of “why me?”… “who am I to be happy when others are suffering?” began creeping into my thoughts on the daily. And so, instead of graciously enjoying the ride, I fell into a vicious cycle of guilt.

A cycle where I felt unworthy of my blessings (who was I to be so lucky?), only to then turn around and condemn myself for not being in a constant state of gratitude (because I was drained from internalizing all of the world’s suffering…duh!) .

With all my years of self-help and abundance consciousness, sadly, I had somehow forgotten my truth…..a truth rooted in love, expansion and well-being.

Weeks turned into months, and I couldn’t shake off the heavy blanket of self-condemnation.

Then, during a pretty profound mediation experience one day, a whisper of a better-feeling truth seeped into my awareness.

This whisper wasn’t just some spiritual mumbo jumbo, but actually quite a practical reminder(I’ve never claimed to have much common sense)….

How can I be an advocate for others if I can’t even advocate for myself?

After all, I think we can all agree that hurt people hurt people.

In these heavy a$$ times, it is overwhelmingly apparent that the world needs more happy ( not hurting) people!

So why would I torture myself with guilt- only to morph into just another miserable person on this planet-contributing to greater collective suffering?

Having had my fair share of self-sabotaging moments early on in life and reflecting on the devastation it caused, I must now put my foot down…not just for myself, but for my family, my loved ones and all of those around me.

tips on dealing with guilt and self-sabotage

I am done blocking myself from a joyous existence, because I feel that I am unworthy or that my “being blessed” is somehow taking away from others.

I am done with such self-induced anxiety.

I am shifting into a more loving paradigm where there is more than enough to go around.

It is safe to be successful.

It is safe to be happy.

It is safe to be abundant.

And this isn’t just the case for me….this goes for you too!

It’s time to recognize guilt for what it is- nothing more than a useless energy drain.

And when you are drained, you will drain those around you.

On the other hand, when you are overflowing with resources, joy and love, your cup will runneth over to all you encounter.

Ultimately, it is of the highest good that you prosper, thrive and enjoy the f**k out of life. In fact, this is exactly what this heavy world needs of you!

I hope this is just the reminder you needed to snap out of the prison that is self-sabotage.

Sending all of you my love!

Now get out there and design some good vibes along with a fabulous life.



My journey in interior design and home improvement began with transforming my first fixer-upper home, all while managing a budget and raising two young boys. My work, a reflection of my passion for creating beautiful, uplifting spaces, has been recognized by top publications like Better Homes and Gardens Magazine, HGTV, and more. I invite you to explore my site and witness the transformation of my home and the vibes we've designed.Read more...

Stephanie Wilkins

Monday 19th of July 2021

This message is right on time! Thank you for sharing your journey with us.

Designing Vibes

Wednesday 21st of July 2021

My pleasure, Stephanie! I am so glad you found it helpful.


Wednesday 30th of June 2021

Awesome post Erica. Love that quote. You have garnered such wisdom through your struggles. Thanks for sharing!

Designing Vibes

Sunday 4th of July 2021

Thank you so much for the kind words, Nadine. Wishing you a happy 4th!


Wednesday 30th of June 2021

I always look forward to reading your posts. You just tell it like it is, I love that about you! !! Better Homes and Gardens, wow, that’s wonderful. I can’t wait to see that. You’re beautiful and seem just as beautiful on the inside. Just continue being you and enjoy life.

Designing Vibes

Wednesday 30th of June 2021

Thank you so much for the kind words, Tammy. As a little girl, i used to get myself into a lot of trouble "telling it like it is". Now I am embracing it. haha! Hope you have a lovely holiday weekend.


Wednesday 30th of June 2021

Love and needed this! Thank you!

Designing Vibes

Wednesday 30th of June 2021

I am so glad you found what you needed today. It makes the discomfort of vulnerability so worth it.


Wednesday 30th of June 2021

ohhhhh this is a good read!!! It is so easy to feel the guilt of your blessings when others suffer. I think you put this into words in a down to earth common sense way to help us all understand that is it more than ok to be blessed, to achieve, and to feel good about ourselves. Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Designing Vibes

Wednesday 30th of June 2021

You summarized it so beautifully, my friend. Thanks for being so awesome!