I know it has been a hot minute since I last wrote a soul hack post.
While I certainly don’t mind being vulnerable, I prefer not to share my personal struggles with the world until I feel I have worked thru them enough to offer others a pearl of wisdom from said struggle.
Otherwise, I would basically just be b*tching and spewing my personal drama onto the world (adding to the collective negativity) when my true goal in life is to give others hope.
Now that I finally feel I have worked thru my sh*t, I wanted to share my most recent revelations with you today.
So within the past twelve months, I have achieved some serious goals…
Earning six figures doing what I love, losing over 20lbs of excess weight, and, just this month, getting paid by Better Homes and Gardens to have one of my designs featured in their July issue are just some of the far-fetched dreams that have manifested into reality for me.
And while one would assume that I would be on cloud nine with all of my recent accomplishments, it has actually been the opposite.
Truth be told… I have actually been riddled with guilt.
Observing all the pain and suffering around me, I found myself questioning my worthiness and deservingness.
“Who am I to be happy when so many are suffering?”
The classic, self-sabotaging introspection of “why me?”… “who am I to be happy when others are suffering?” began creeping into my thoughts on the daily. And so, instead of graciously enjoying the ride, I fell into a vicious cycle of guilt.
A cycle where I felt unworthy of my blessings (who was I to be so lucky?), only to then turn around and condemn myself for not being in a constant state of gratitude (because I was drained from internalizing all of the world’s suffering…duh!) .
With all my years of self-help and abundance consciousness, sadly, I had somehow forgotten my truth…..a truth rooted in love, expansion and well-being.
Weeks turned into months, and I couldn’t shake off the heavy blanket of self-condemnation.
Then, during a pretty profound mediation experience one day, a whisper of a better-feeling truth seeped into my awareness.
This whisper wasn’t just some spiritual mumbo jumbo, but actually quite a practical reminder(I’ve never claimed to have much common sense)….
How can I be an advocate for others if I can’t even advocate for myself?
After all, I think we can all agree that hurt people hurt people.
In these heavy a$$ times, it is overwhelmingly apparent that the world needs more happy ( not hurting) people!
So why would I torture myself with guilt- only to morph into just another miserable person on this planet-contributing to greater collective suffering?
Having had my fair share of self-sabotaging moments early on in life and reflecting on the devastation it caused, I must now put my foot down…not just for myself, but for my family, my loved ones and all of those around me.
I am done blocking myself from a joyous existence, because I feel that I am unworthy or that my “being blessed” is somehow taking away from others.
I am done with such self-induced anxiety.
I am shifting into a more loving paradigm where there is more than enough to go around.
It is safe to be successful.
It is safe to be happy.
It is safe to be abundant.
And this isn’t just the case for me….this goes for you too!
It’s time to recognize guilt for what it is- nothing more than a useless energy drain.
And when you are drained, you will drain those around you.
On the other hand, when you are overflowing with resources, joy and love, your cup will runneth over to all you encounter.
Ultimately, it is of the highest good that you prosper, thrive and enjoy the f**k out of life. In fact, this is exactly what this heavy world needs of you!
I hope this is just the reminder you needed to snap out of the prison that is self-sabotage.
Sending all of you my love!
Now get out there and design some good vibes along with a fabulous life.